Tag Archives: relationships

From the Pit of the Soul

10 Feb

I’m writing from a far away place, a place deep and dark and in isolation from others. A place with very little light at the moment. I am writing from the pit of my soul.

PIT-001

Some of you know this place in your own way; some too well and perhaps too often.

For me, it is that place I often find ourselves in after the dreaded (yes you guessed it) breakup.

Why am I here? How did I get here and most importantly will I ever get out?

The answer is a resounding YES!

You see, if you were reading carefully you will recall that this is a place of very little light after all it’s a pit but there is light even if there is not much.

I really hope this speaks to someone. Regardless of your situation the light is always there; it might not be very strong, but it’s there and you know it. It’s that last shred of Hope you are holding on to. It just seems so far off though.

For me, I have come to a realization. This light is God. He is always there but I chose to dig further and further into the pit of my soul and all I found was darkness around me and yet God is still there with me.

Let me quote a Psalm 139 to illustrate:

Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

In knowing this we see that it’s us that run away from God yet He is never really far from us. He’s always there.

This may seem strange to some of you well because you might be thinking “How does this help my situation?” or “But I don’t believe in this God stuff..”

Please remember that in that pit you have but a small light, a small hope that hope is God – you might not know it but it is. Even in writing this I know in myself it is God. So the next step is faith.

You have NOTHING to lose at this stage, look around, there’s nothing but despair, but God has thrown you a rope. Maybe you never saw the rope before but now in this situation it’s pretty clear. Grab it, take hold of it and let God hoist you out of that pit to safety.

If you are willing to do a simple thing, to say a simple prayer I assure you your life will never be the same again. No matter how many times you find yourself back in that pit you will get hoisted right back out of it.

That rope is Jesus Christ. If you believe that He died on a cross for your sins he will save you. You will be saved. Now isn’t that great news! I know it sounds simple but the Bible even says “The word of the Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” 1Cor 1:18

When you are down an’ out it’s the time to start being honest with yourself – things aren’t getting better by themselves, you need saving. On my personal journey I can say that no matter how low I get, knowing that God loves me and He has the power to change my situation always lifts me out of that pit. Now, enough pep talking let’s grab the rope.

All you have to do is say this prayer out loud and mean it. 

Dear God,

I’ve found myself in this pit, far from you. I’ve been living in a way that ignores you, doing my own thing. Now I see that you have always been there, never far from me and I have been living in sin; it’s why I’m in this place within myself. I believe that you sent your son to die on a cross to wash my sins away and save me. I now accept you as my saviour and Lord. Amen.

That’s it, you are now the newest member of the Kingdom of God!

No doubt if you prayed it and meant it you are feeling better but don’t ride the feeling train as our feelings go up and down, rather see what else God has to say about how much he loves you by digging into His word, find a good Bible teaching church and join a community of believers – I’m telling you if you meant it, your life will never be the same again! Trouble may come but your saviour will always lead you through it. Kiss goodbye to that pit!

Here are some resources to get you started:

http://elevationchurch.org/learn-more

Where to start reading from

The book of John

Take care and God bless you all!

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15 Smart Rules for a Healthy Relationship

17 May

To add a dose of sense and sensibility to Sentinel’s ‘Guerrilla Dating Tactics’, here are 15 (chivalrous) ways to keep your relationship working. Of course, there is no shortcut to bliss, but this’ll serve you right in 90% of cases.

Continue reading

Love is a battlefield – the (men’s) rules of engagement

16 May

I sat across the table from a young man who had brought up an interesting question. The boy could have been no older than 21 and had started his first “real” relationship two years ago. However he had recently met somebody else and was now seeking the advice of the rest of the table as to how he should make his mind up about which one to keep. A few heads on the table had turned to me when the question was brought up. Those heads belonged to friends of mine, both male and female, who knew I had created my own little set of principles which govern what to do in this particularly dangerous front in the battle of the sexes. They also knew that I relished opportunities like this one to educate the little ones. Continue reading

The Gorgon Enchantress & The Maturing Mind

16 May

It was a wet and windy evening and I was speeding down the A406 cutting traffic like a butcher on my way to the cinema. After all my boasting about being the only black man who ever turns up to anything on time, I was actually running late – 10 minutes late, but late nonetheless. I already had my excuse. It involved being a shoulder to cry on for a distraught female friend who I could not leave to continue her relationship with a man who obviously did not appreciate her and treated her like property. It was my duty. Of course I could not tell her the real reason I was late – which was that after the phone call, my mum had sent me on an errand and had threatened not to let me eat anything she cooked unless I went and got her onions and palm oil. At 26, I somehow I did not think that would be a turn on for any girl – so the dutiful friend story would simply have to suffice. Continue reading