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Forgive ‘Em!

18 Feb

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Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1Peter 4:8

I was recently called to reflect upon this verse after an unfortunate incident. I can’t go into the details for confidentiality but let’s just say I could have been justifiably angry.

In my pondering I came to a realization. It’s pretty simple and key to living a healthy life: I need to forgive this person.

I have seen enough vengeance films to know that getting that all so “sweet” revenge is short lived and  is honestly an empty pursuit so a different approach is needed but to get there requires some …. pain.

1. Acknowledge what has happened – For some of you this is easy – you’re mad right? For others you  may need to pause and allow yourself to be vulnerable for once, allow yourself to let it out and I talk of tears to be clear.

2.  Accept you are both in chains right now Them because they need your forgiveness and you because the anger/sense of betrayal/resentment/shame can never go away until you do.

3. Release them from their chains/ forgive them in your heart –  You have to let it go inside first before you can attempt to confront them. It won’t go well otherwise. How do you do that? Love. Love for your fellow man. The love that says “I don’t want you to do this to anyone else and I don’t want you to do this to yourself”.

When you care enough to want them to be free, you yourself can be freed too.

4. Tell ’em – Find a neutral place to meet and let them know that despite the hurt caused, you are ready to forgive. Then forgive ’em .

5. Set Healthy Boundaries – Don’t be foolish! Just because you have forgiven them does not mean there are not consequences. You have to protect yourself from potential repeat offence and also allows time for the healing process to work itself out.

Anyway, that’s my experience and I hope it helps some of you.